posting early because this weekend I will be too busy doing epic wildness, imbibing epic amounts achol. soaking up mega love rays like sunshine and in various states of undress in multiple compromising positions (because of a photoshoot you wonderful freakniks)
A few days ago
I wanted to crawl into a tub,
slit my wrists and drown in my own emo-globin.
It happens every year as I get close to my birthday.
I start(like soo many of us do) to look at what I did or rather DID NOT do in the past 365, I reviewed a glaring account of my faults and mistakes and shortcomings.
It was really pathetic.
Thankfully I have a really great roomie.
When I talked to her about how emo I was getting she basically told me I was smokin the crack. That someone will always do more and be more than I am. That I can not judge myself on that. That I have to look at what I have done and how many people I have touched or affected and judge myself on that.
That list is full of the awesome:
left a stable job to pursue my own dreams
continued to dance with Rubenesque Burlesque shakin the supersized naughty bit shamelessly for all the world to see
allowed myself to fall in love with a wonderful man
participated in panels regarding open sexual and spiritual beliefs
survived swine flu
humped the pole at Circus Circus
dyed my hair red, orange, pink and purple
apologized to my mother for being a pain in the ass
finally accepted the fact that I deserve to be happy
and much more stuff that my already sleep deprived brain won’t let me remember
My life is not perfect
Actually it is perfect
in a diamond kinda way its totally perfect
it’s got lots of faults but that makes it shines.
So here’s to another year of being fierce phat and fabulous…
and here’s to you beautiful people
because I wouldn’t be here without you.